April 3, 2022 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES (Submitted with our great thanks) "Take hold of the life which is life indeed." 1 Timothy 6:19 There are days when we all aren't the brightest bulb in the pack. There are times that I've done stupid things, that I've looked back on, and can't believe it. We all do stupid things, but we win, if we find the humor in it. True life is funny … I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. __________ Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. _______________ Murphy's New Laws 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film or data storage. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 7. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty. 8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it. 9. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 10. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged. 11. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. 12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 13. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 14. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. 15. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? 16. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 17. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs, and blame it on the higher cost of living. 18. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population. 19. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 20. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 21. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day relaxing. 22. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 23. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture. 24. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 25. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 26. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, motivate me today to go to church, so I may hear Your message to me. Open my ears so that I may perceive the spiritual content, behind the words. Open my eyes, so I may see my blessings. Thank You God! In Jesus Christ's name … Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am a spiritual being, vibrant and alive. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Most powerful is the person who has themself in their own power." Lucius Annaeus Seneca _____ Christ is our inspiration; Faith is our foundation; Prayer is our work. God's direct help to live better. Realize your dreams and goals. For 23 years - a spiritual supplement to your faith We support you attending the church of your choice. It's not about you joining us, it's about us joining you. Daily, we pray, support, inspire, motivate, empower - free of charge. Instant online, or recurring monthly giving: http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387 Thank you! ___ NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth