May 30, 2021 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES May 30, 2021 www.PositiveChristianity.org for 22 years presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "But be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33 A cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but did not budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment, he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?" "Fred," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the Ranger. With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "the balcony." ************************************************* 21 LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE From T-Shirts 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 4.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. 5.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 6.. I'm not complete - Some parts are just missing. 7.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 8.. Faith It – Till You Make It! 9.. "Today I broke my personal record for the most consecutive days lived!" 10.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 11.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 12.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 13.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 14.. Procrastinate Now! 15.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 16.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 17.. "No life is perfect until you fall in love with it" (Positive Christianity T-shirt) 18.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 19.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 20.. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 21.. The trouble with life is there's no background music. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Because I have faith in You God as my overcomer, I am able to do all things with Your help. I do what I have set out to do in a successful manner. I am in overcomer, whether it be overcoming an apparent rejection by someone, or overcoming boredom concerning a routine task. The smallest to the greatest task at hand can be performed with ease and in perfect order with Your help. You give me the know-how to continue. I give praise for Your ever-present help as I press forward on a clear pathway. Thank You God! POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: With God is my guide, I am on a quest of living of fulfilling life. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball _____ Donation – God bless and multiply my gift back to bless my life: Instant online, or recurring monthly giving: http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387 Thank you! ___ NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth