July 5, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES July 5, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org now in our 21st year presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 The math teacher saw that a little boy was not paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' The little boy quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!' ____ "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you! ____ The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves." ____ A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "don't pay for me daddy. I'm under five." ____ Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. Why do you do that, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?" ____ Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he did not need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: I spend time now with the presence of God. I awaken to God's good that is here, to live in, and live from. May Your presence be a part of everything I experience and do. You are always present – my help in every need. I align myself with Your ways and I let You smooth out my way. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: Today I pray, it is my direct connection to God's positive motivation to do good with my life. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don’t expect you to save the world, I do think it’s not asking too much for you to love those with whom you live, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary, and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair, and disrespect.” Nikki Giovanni _____ THANK YOU for your giving. Online donations http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387 Text Mobile Giving: TEXT Give to 281-801-4845 ___ NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth