March 22, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES March 22, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org now in our 21st year presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you.” John 15:11 11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . . ____ This is hilarious & from CareerBuilders.com Unfortunately, many job seekers are not only ignoring good tips, they're making mistakes that leave unforgettable impressions for all the wrong reasons. Here are 10 real-life examples from this year's survey: * Candidate answered cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation. * Applicant told the interviewer he wouldn't be able to stay with the job long because he thought he might get an inheritance if his uncle died – and his uncle wasn't "looking too good." * The job seeker asked the interviewer for a ride home after the interview. * The applicant smelled his armpits on the way to the interview room. * Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified." * Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss. * When the applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking. * An applicant said she was a "people person" not a "numbers person" – in her interview for an accounting position. * During a phone interview the candidate flushed the toilet while talking to hiring manager. * The applicant took out a hairbrush and brushed her hair. ____ Siblings When my now 14-year-old daughter was three and her younger brother was getting into everything, she asked, "Mommy, can we put him back, now?" Deciding to take this opportunity as a teaching moment in how siblings should treat each other, I explained to her that we could not put him back — that her brother was a gift from God. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and responded, "I understand, Mommy. God didn't want him either." ____ A Child's Prayer A Sunday school teacher asked her pupils, "Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?" A little boy answered, "My mommy says my prayers." "I see," said the teacher. "And what does your mother say?" The little boy replied, "THANK GOD HE'S IN BED!" ____ The Unasked Question At the trial, the train crewman insisted that he had given the driver ample warning at the crossing by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. "Congratulations," the lawyer said to the crewman when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination." "Thanks," he said, "but the plaintiff's lawyer sure had me worried." "How's that?" the lawyer asked. "I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!" ____ Conscience A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man who had recently become a Christian wrote the following letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income last year and have enclosed a check for $1,150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest." POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5 I pray that each new morning will bring me a memory, or experience of joy. As I wake up, joy wakes up in me. I smile as I greet the new day. I laugh inside and out during the day. I am a joyous person following a joyous Christ. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am the joy of God made manifest. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly." Proverb _____ We THANK Positive People for our support: Online donations http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387 Text Mobile Giving: TEXT Give to 281-801-4845 ___ NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth