January 19, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES January 19, 2020 www.PositiveChristianity.org now in our 21st year presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So, I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me! ******************************************************* TRUE ADVERTISEMENTS IN LOCAL NEWSPAPERS REAL NEWSPAPER ADS FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat.... been out a while. Better be a reward. NORDIC TRACK $300 hardly used, call Chubby. GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents lb. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie. FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything. ******************************************************* A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost $100 an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha' been more than $20." "That might be true," said the travel agent, "but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord himself walked." "Well, at $100 an hour for a boat," said the Scotsman, "it's no wonder he walked. ******************************************************* Observed T-Shirt Sayings - A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. Always try to be modest and be proud of it! Hard work may pay off in the future. Laziness pays off now. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, I pray to be renewed in mind and in body. I pray that I have the power to free myself from old and obsolete ideas. I know that old and crystallize thoughts cause the mentality and the body to be old and stagnant. I pray for the introduction of new and fresh ideas. I ask for new thoughts to become active in my mind and that my mind becomes invigorated and relieved from the humdrum of monotonous thinking. I realize monotony of thought is the cause of much unhappiness and disease as it affects the mind and the body as lack of lubricant affects an engine. Without oil, the friction of an engine soon develops heat and serious trouble. Inside of me without new and fresh ideas, the mind and the body are thrown into a state of confusion. Today, I pray, I discover new ideas and new viewpoints. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: As a child of God I am heir to all that I need to succeed. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” Ralph Waldo Emerson _____ THANK YOU for your prayers and support: Online donations http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387 ___ NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch Positive Christianity Store https://squareup.com/store/positive-christianity/ If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth