November 17, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES November 17, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good works and give glory to your God who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16 Boring Speaker At a lecture series a very boring speaker was on the platform. As he was speaking, people in the audience began to get up and leave. After about ten minutes there was only one man left. Finally, the man stopped speaking and asked the man why he remained to the end. "I'm the next speaker" was the reply. ______ The Chair Test An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class, however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the student who finished in one minute got an A. The rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. This is what he wrote: "What chair?" ______ HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (Written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 - No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to marry. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.. -- Camille, age 10 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7 -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10 _____ THANK YOU! We ask, we need, and thank you for your support: Online donations http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387 ___ POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, urge me to go to church today, not just to sit there and listen BUT to get involved with Your work. Without You I am nothing. I want to be something. I want to make a difference. I want to become bigger than myself. I will meet You at church to discuss my future. In Jesus Christ name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I take the time to connect with God and God connects with me. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "To succeed in life you need three things: A wishbone A backbone A funnybone." Reba McEntire NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch Tear-off Calendars and More https://squareup.com/store/positive-christianity/ If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth