November 10, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

November 10, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration

Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks)

"It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."  
Proverbs 3:8

This is sent with positive greetings from all of us beginning our 20th year Celebration Cruise of the Western Caribbean.


PLEASE NOTICE: 
You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.
Some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has
been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably
unnoticed. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond
to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.
- The Department of Notification
______

True story – I once received a corporate recall notice from the Honda Motor Car Company concerning my old Gold Wing Motorcycle (no longer owned).

It said,” Some motorcycles around the build of your serial number have had slight problems with cracks in the aluminum frame. 

Under certain circumstances this could cause the rear wheel to leave the motorcycle which could adversely affect driving conditions. Exercise caution at higher speed until this repair is addressed.”

______

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. 

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the evilest thing I could do to him legally."
______

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old
farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad
news. The donkey died.”

Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Kenny said, “Okay then, at least give me the donkey.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna to do with him?”

Kenny, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

Farmer, “You can’t raffle off the dead donkey!”

Kenny, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with
the dead donkey?”

Kenny, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and
made a profit of $898.”

Farmer, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Kenny, “Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back.”
______

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. 

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
______

Between the acts of a play at a small Jewish community theater, the stage
manager came out from behind the curtain and announced, “Ladies and
gentlemen, I’m afraid that we must cancel the rest of the show. We have
had a terrible tragedy. The leading man has suffered a fatal heart
attack. Please accept my apologies, and I’m sure you’ll understand why we
cannot continue.”

An old Jewish lady stood up in the balcony and shouted, “Quick! Give him
some chicken soup!”

The stage manager looked aghast, composed himself and said, “I’m
sorry—perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. His heart attack was fatal.”

The old lady shouted, “Never mind! Just give him some chicken soup!” 

In exasperation, the stage manager shouted, “Madam, the man is dead! What
good could chicken soup possibly do?”

Undaunted, she shouted back, “What harm?”

_____

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Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387
___

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I pray that I will be a person of ever-increasing faith.
I pray that I make Your knowledge my goal.
Adhering to the Truth,
Exceedingly dear the path is to me.
I pray that I am your loving devoted disciple.

In Jesus Christ's name… Amen


POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: The infinite love of God ever enfolds me, 
bringing harmony, order, and peace into my mind, body, and life.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "We become what we think about most of the time, 
and that's the strangest secret." Earl Nightingale


NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

Television channels (Free Service):
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Prayer  http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation  http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch

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NOTE: ALL Orders ship Monday Nov. 18 after our Spiritual Retreat Cruise 


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GOD BLESS YOU, 
Christopher Ian Chenoweth

Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily,
for an entire month.  There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth