August 18, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

August 18, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration

Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks)

"I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139:14

George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the 
bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there
were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said
no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his
door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed
Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then 
he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence. Of course, the police caught the
burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
______

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home-bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said,

"If it starts, I'm turning Catholic!!”
_______

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied, "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I know that You are always with me.  
In Your presence I discover new courage and new joy.  
I know that You love me and You are ready to help me through the ups and downs of life.  
Work within my mind to bring me peace of mind, helping me to let go of worry and embrace the comfort I need.  
I call out to You, God.  
You answer.  
You soothe me to the depths of my soul and fill me with peace.  
Gently, lovingly, You assure me that I will be okay, that all will be okay.  
I feel embraced by You.  
I feel comforted by You.  
I feel at peace.  
With Your help, I am ready for a new day.  

Thank You God!


POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: Through the power of Christ I think constructively and wisely.  My body is blessed with order and harmony.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Speak well of yourself. Thank yourself for not being perfect. And remind yourself daily that you are completely and utterly worthy of all the wonderful and fulfilling things that life offers. Receive them and enjoy." Derek O'Neill 


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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth

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GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth