August 11, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES August 11, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Thy throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before Thee." Psalms 89:14 YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING "MARVELOUSLY MATURE" WHEN... 1. People, that you consider older than you, hold the door open for you in respect. 2.. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you are not wearing socks. 3. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture. 4. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. 5. When happy hour is a nap. 6. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it. 7. Your idea of weightlifting is standing up. 8. Your memory is shorter, and your complaining lasts longer. 9. It takes twice as long - to look half as good. 10. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time. 11. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore. 12. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it. ****** A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us." ****** After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!" ****** Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The Flight to Egypt," was his reply. Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.” ****** Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘“If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ ” It worked." ****** A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he? ____ We have always said that we can’t do this great work alone – we need God and we need you to partner with us – THANK YOU for your support: Online donations http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77387 ____ POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, I pray that my day is filled with love and I pray that I express that love to others. I pray that I know that I am the unique child of You. I pray that I celebrate life and I encourage others to celebrate life. I pray for Your wisdom and I pray that I express it in my life. I pray for God-given strength to empower me in my good works. I pray that I never think of myself as limited, and constantly prove that through my daily connection with You - I am never limited. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: The Christ light within me manifest prosperity and abundance. My life is enriched. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein." Life’s Little Instruction Book NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth