June 9, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES June 9, 2019 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) ”Restore me to help and make me live!” Isaiah 38:16 No matter which girl he brought home, this bachelor had disapproval from his mother. A friend advised him: "Find a girl just like your mother, then she is bound to like her." Thus the bachelor tried and finally found the "GIRL." So he told his friend: "As advised by you, I found a girl who looked, talked, walked and even cooked just like my mother. As you predicted, my Mother loved her!" "So" asked the friend, "What happened?" "My father disapproved of her!" replied the bachelor. _______ I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswomen, "Where's the self-help section?" Said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. _______ Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast, but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!" _______ A banker calls in an oilman to review his loans. "We loaned you a million to revive your old wells, and they went dry." says the banker. "Coulda been worse." "Then we loaned you a million to drill new wells, and they were dry." "Coulda been worse." "Then we loaned you another million for new drilling equipment, and it broke down." "Coulda been worse." "I'm getting tired of hearing that!" snaps the banker. "How could it have been worse?" "Coulda been my money," says the oilman. _______ Sometimes I wonder… “Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?”… And then it hits me. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, help me to enjoy my life more. I pray that I become a person that savors every minute. I pray that I am a person that recognizes the value of every day. I pray that I no longer waste my life, looking at what is wrong. I make a spiritual decision to give thanks for what is right. Focusing on that, I enjoy my life more. In Jesus Christ name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: God heals my mind, body, and life. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Opportunities multiply as they are seized." Sun Tzu NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch LAST CHANCE! Attend our grand 20th anniversary spiritual retreat cruise without paying any program fees. $499 per person (double occupancy) leaving from New Orleans to Belize city Belize, Roatan Honduras, Cozumel Mexico and returning to New Orleans Sunday, November 10 to Sunday, November 17. We will offer a masters class on getting answered prayer and many other subjects - mornings at sea. LIMITED AVAILABILITY. A deposit will hold your cabin of your choice. Final payment August 15. Call Direct to Book - Allure Travel Group Journeys 818.553.3200 24/7 Booking link: www.alluretravel.com/positivechristianity FULL INFO AND PHOTOS: http://www.positivechristianity.org/retreatcruise.htm Tithes and donations – THANK YOU! http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387 If a friend forwards this message to you - get Positive Daily Inspiration direct in your email inbox every morning. Text POSITIVEMINISTRY to 22828 to easy, free subscribe. GOD BLESS YOU, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth