December 9, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES December 9, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org for the 20th year presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES (Submitted with our great thanks) "For God alone my soul waits in silence." Psalms 62:5 There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily." The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies." **** As Mom was preparing pancakes for her sons, Johnny, 5, and Alex, 3, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. The Mom saw the opportunity to teach a moral lesson. She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Johnny quickly turned to his younger brother and said, "Okay, Alex, you be Jesus!" **** A Sunday School teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" By now the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" she asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!" She was just bursting with pride for them. Well, she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: In the silence of prayer, I enter a sacred meeting place where only joy, love, and peace exist. In the silence, I meet with You, dear God. You welcome me with open arms. Lovingly, tenderly, I am surrounded and enfolded in Your healing, radiating light that can never be extinguished. In the silence, I am one with Your wisdom, Your love, and Your peace. You, dear God, flow in and through me, in wave after wave, comforting me and renewing me in mind, body, and spirit. In the silence, I am aware of my oneness with You and all creation. I understand that no matter where I am, or where I go, You are with me. Thank You God! POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am one with God and therefore one with my success. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you following God’s guidance." NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch Beginning at only $499 – Nov. 10-17, 2019 20th Anniversary Celebration Spiritual Retreat Cruise: http://www.positivechristianity.org/retreatcruise.htm Cruise Video: https://youtu.be/Kmh5u8y_3Xs Donation one time or recurring monthly – Thanking God at Christmas Time Thank you! http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm By mail: Positive Christianity P.O. Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387 Merry Christmas! God bless you, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth