December 2, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES December 2, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration Sunday Funnies (Submitted with our great thanks) "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalms 30:5 When the gambler wakes up from dreaming about a huge glowing number 5 made out of gold and diamonds, he knows it's an omen. So, he grabs a racing form and looks up that day's fifth race. Sure enough, the number five horse in the fifth race is Fifth Element. So, for the rest of the day, he does everything in fives: He eats five bowls of cereal for breakfast, goes for a five-mile run, takes a five-minute shower, and wears the fifth jacket he finds in his closet. At the racetrack, he buys five programs, bets $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race, and sits in the fifth row of the bleachers. And then the gun goes off, he settles in and watches his horse come in fifth. ___________________________ Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, Unicorns ___________________________ I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat And I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, Pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!" The driver of a nearby car, a teenager, Gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in 'Park' _________________________ Bubba applied for an engineering position. Jim applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thanks for your interest, but we've decided to give the Jim the job." Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct!" The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but, rather, on the one question that you both missed." Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager said: "Bubba, it's like this. On question No. 4 Jim put down; 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'" POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: Dear God, I know in Christ I am capable. Through Christ I am successful. I have the Mind of Christ in me. I am always one with Divine intelligence. Through prayer I make my connection with the Christ Mind by affirming my oneness with it, and I open myself to spiritual light and understanding. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: The peace and harmony of God are strong in me, and I am poised and centered in the one infinite Life, Light, and Power. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute – and it will be longer than any hour. That's relativity." Albert Einstein NEED PRAYER? Reply - Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Television channels (Free Service): Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch Beginning at only $499 – Nov. 10-17, 2019 20th Anniversary Celebration Spiritual Retreat Cruise: http://www.positivechristianity.org/retreatcruise.htm Donation one time or recurring monthly – Thanking God at Christmas Time Thank you! http://www.positivechristianity.org/donatepc.htm By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387 Merry Christmas! God bless you, Christopher Ian Chenoweth Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth