October 21, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before You, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12 

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked. 

"Yes," whispered the small voice. 

"May I talk with him?" 

The child whispered, "No." 

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
mommy there?"

"Yes." 

"May I talk with her?" 

Again, the small voice whispered, "No." 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." 

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss he asked, “May I speak with the policeman?" 

"No, he's busy", whispered the child. 

"Busy doing what?" 

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. 

Growing concerned, and even worried, as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that
noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. 

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. 

In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more than just a little frustrated the boss
asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle..."ME.”
______________

Once upon a time, there was a man who went hunting for bears. As he trudged through the forest looking for bears, he came upon the large, steep hill. He climbed the hill, and just as he was pulling himself over the last outcropping of rocks, a huge bear met him nose to nose.

The bear roared fiercely. The man was so scared that he lost his balance. He fell down the hill with the bear not far behind him. On the trip down the hill, the man lost his gun. When he finally stopped tumbling, he found that he had a broken leg. It was impossible to escape.

The man had never been very religious, and he had never prayed much, but he prayed now. 

He said, "God, if you will make this bear a Christian, I will be happy with whatever lot You give me for the rest of my life."

The bear was no more than 3 feet from the man when it stopped dead in its tracks. 
The bear looked up to the heavens quizzically, and then fell to its knees. 
It prayed in a loud voice, "Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake. Amen."
________

An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight around and started lecturing the farmer about his speed. He did his best to make the farmer feel uncomfortable but eventually got around to writing the ticket. As he wrote, he had to swat at several flies that were buzzing around his head.
"Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" asked the farmer.

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and looked up. "Well yeah, if that's what they are," he said. "I never heard of circle flies, though."

"Oh, they're pretty common on farms," said the farmer. "We call 'em circle flies because they're always circling around the back end of a horse."

"I see," said the trooper as he continued writing the ticket. All of a sudden, he stopped and looked up at the farmer. "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's backend?"

"Oh no, officer," replied the farmer. "I have far too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's backend."

"Well, that's a good thing," said the trooper as he resumed writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer continued. "Hard to fool them flies, though."

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

I will take time today for You. I will find a church service and attend. 
I will seek to reconnect my soul with You, so that I will know in my awareness Your ever-present help and guidance. I remember You through worship. 

I make an appointment with You, knowing that You always keep the appointment. 

In Jesus Christ's name… Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I show other people my faithfulness through my smile.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "In school you get the lesson and then take the test... In life you take the test and then get the lesson."


Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily,
for an entire month.  There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth