September 30, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

"The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So, remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. 

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. 

So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking United," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. 

So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.”

“Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a haircut. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United's brand-new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He asked: "Who messed up your hair?"
___________________

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? 
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? 
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? 
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? 
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure? 
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? 
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple? 
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? 
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? 
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? 
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? 
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? 
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? 
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I ask, I seek, I knock. 
I am spiritually hungry, and I am ready to listen, follow, and receive my good. 

In Jesus Christ's name… Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: The transforming Spirit of Christ blesses my mind and body with perfection and fills my life with happiness and satisfaction.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "Years teach us more than books."
Berthold Auerbach

Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily,
for an entire month.  There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth