August 12, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, 
to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

A Great Man, with an unusually wise sense of humor, Will Rogers, who died
in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest
political sage this country has ever known.

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in
your pocket.
8. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
9. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.
10. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier' n puttin' it back.
11. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
______

Dead Mule In the Churchyard.... 

A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead
mule in the church yard

He telephoned the police. 

Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the
Pastor to the Health Department

They explained, "Since there was no health threat, you'll need to call the
Sanitation Department."

When the pastor called the Sanitation Department, the Manager of the
Sanitation Department said, "I can't pick up that dead mule without
authorization from the mayor."

The Pastor was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a
very bad temper and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with,
but, eventually, the Pastor called the mayor anyway.

The mayor did not disappoint the Pastor. 

The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at
the pastor, the mayor finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it
your job to bury the dead?"

The pastor paused for a brief prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his
response.

The Lord led the pastor to the words he was seeking, "WELL Yes, Mayor, it
IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin
first!"

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Peace Prayer of St Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. 
Where there is hatred, let me sow love. 
Where there is injury, pardon. 
Where there is doubt, faith. 
Where there is despair, hope. 
Where there is darkness, light. 
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; 
to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. 
For it is in giving that we receive. 
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

(From the FREE Positive Christianity Encyclopedia of Prayer) 


POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I have great anticipation, I have great excitement about my future potential as a child of God.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "A strong mind always looks optimistically at the future, 
and has always cause to hope." Thomas Carlyle 

Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily,
for an entire month.  There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth