August 5, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES "Because I live, you will live also." John 14:19 PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech, frequently humorous, in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected: 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but, it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. Why is my desk a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, please notify, I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. ___________ TEAMWORK AND EGO – A FABLE A frog asked two geese to take him south with them. At first, they resisted; they didn't see how it could be done. Finally, the frog suggested that the two geese hold a stick between their beaks and that he would hold onto it with his mouth. So, off the unlikely threesome went, flying southward over the countryside. It was really quite a site. People looked up and expressed great admiration at this demonstration of creative teamwork. Someone said, "It's wonderful! Who was so clever to discover such a find way to travel?" Whereupon, the frog opened his mouth and said, "It was I," as it plummeted to the earth. POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: The calming, restoring life of God is mighty in the midst of me. I know this. I believe this. Life is God's will for me, healing is God's will for me. Right now, God's work is being done in and through me. Mighty currents of God's healing help are flowing through me now, carrying life and renewal to every part. I am alive with the life of Christ. In Jesus Christ's name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am alive with the life of God. POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "If there is no wind, row." Latin Proverb Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth