April 15, 2018 www.PositiveChristianity.org presents Positive Daily Inspiration

 SUNDAY FUNNIES

"God restores my soul." Psalms 23:3

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN 
(from an anonymous mother in Austin Texas):

1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you must throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though 36-year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

16. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

17. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens.

18. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

19. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

20. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

21. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

What I've learned from my husband....

22. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, bless all who worship Thee, 
From the rising of the sun, unto the going down of the same.
Of Thy goodness, give us; 
With Thy love, inspire us; 
By Thy spirit, guide us; 
By Thy power protect us; 
In Thy mercy received us, now and always. (A 5th century prayer)


POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: My life is a gift from God that I appreciate, more and more, every day.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: "All glory comes from daring to begin." William Shakespeare

Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will pray with you daily,
for an entire month.  There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

GOD BLESS YOU, Make It a Great Day !_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth